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rei_r2002
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Name: Virginia
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Los Angeles
Birthday: 4/30/1984
Gender: Female
Interests:
Music, real punk, heavy metal, alternative, and old school rock. If It's not loud and thier isn't a guitar or drumset involved it's not music.
Movies, you name it i've seen it and probibly own it.
Writing, i'm a journalist, i write it's what i do.
Reading, I love books esecally philosophy it's this great release people don't realize to just open a book and be sucked into the pages lost to the outside world, which most of the time sucks.
Sleep, when your as buzzy as i am you don't do nearly enough of it and your constantly craving it.
Expertise: My life, no one knows it better then me.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Media
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  ReporterGinya
Yahoo:  Rei_R2002
Member Since:
5/13/2004
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| Numbers always make sence to me.
As a kid i understood math, even when english and armenian and history got confusing the numbers made sense, so as an adult i continue to atempt to understand life based on the logic of numbers.
The main problem in my life by numbers is the concept of death.
Death has always been a weird concept to me.
Going from life to no Life
mathmatically it makes sense but it's always been a bit confusing concept in practice.
People say famious deaths come in 3's now while i find any life and thus death to be important the most recent did spark my journalist attention.
James Brown: Musician, artist, icon and according to wik. " In 1988, he was arrested following a high-speed car chase down Interstate 20 in Augusta. He was imprisoned for threatening pedestrians with firearms and abuse of PCP,
as well as for the repercussions of his flight. Although he was
sentenced to six years in prison, he was eventually released in 1991
after having only served three." thus proving no matter how many funky record you make your known for your mistakes.
President Ford : known for being the man who "Pardoned Nixon" proving that even if you claim inocents a powerful friend can always make sure you stay that way.
Saddam Hussein: Political leader, military stratigist, killer, and over all psyco. proving that in life it's the negative things you do that your remembered for and that no matter how much you think your untouchable you really arent.
Werid isn't it. or maybe it's just math, 3 deaths, 3 lifes, 3 mistakes they never lived down.
-Virginia
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| Once upon a time there was a girl, well a woman, who lived in a small
castle just outside of a great city. The people of city were strange
and wonderful creatures some kind, some cruse, some giving, some
greedy, some caring, some hurtful, the city was filled with so many so
different and yet all living constantly searching for a great joy.
The
girl was the child of a great king and queen who ruled the land, and
watched as there people searched for the great joy, knowing the pain
they felt each day as they searched many without ever finding the great
joy while others found it too soon to understand it’s worth. Fearing
for there daughter they raised her in the small castle outside the
city, with large strong jagged walls all around to keep her safe and so
that she would never know of the great joy and thus never feel the pain
of never finding it but never knowing the joy of having it.
The girl grew up.
The
girl was raised to become a strong, smart, kind, giving, and honest
person, and so she was. But on her 18th birthday the king and queen
allowed her to leave the small castle but not before telling her that
that life was about doing your best, and that one day she would have to
choose weather to allow herself to be completely open to the world and
face both joy and rejection or close herself off in exchange for
security she had known for so long. So she venture into the great city
there she lived studied and worked for four long years the girl lived a
simple life, she worked, had friends, she experienced much of life and
kept her self open to many new things.
But the girl keep one part of her
closed locking it away and hiding the key deep, deep within the walls
of her tiny castle, a part of her that she knew could break her apart,
a part of her which if unleashed could take away all that she knew and
force her to start again in a completely different world.
As time
passed the girl grew unsettled watching as her friends began there
quest for the great joy, watching as they suffered, fell down, got back
up and continued to search some finding it while others would search
on. As she watched the girl grew unsatisfied, constantly feeling as if
she was missing something, something that the rest of her kingdom had
found or had already begun searching for something which she feared
would break down the large strong jagged walls that kept her safe even
outside her strong small castle.
Then one day a stranger came to
her castle knocking on the great wall he asked simply if she had seen
his great joy, for he could not find it anywhere and had searched for
years. “I am searching for my great love.”
The girl looked down
at the stranger from her tall walls and said “how can you stand the
pain from so much searching?” the stranger smiled up at her and said “I
do not fear the pain of loss for I know that my love will bring me so
much joy that the pain will be forgotten in an instant.”
At his words the girl began to weep and her walls began to crumble,
”why do you cry my lady,” he asked as she appeared before him her walls merely dust around her.
”I have hidden from my joy for so long I fear that I may never find it now,” she said her face smudged with dust.
“Fear not my lady for though you have not been searching for your joy it has been searching for you.”
When did I become that girl....?
Is
there something wrong with me something that forces me to look at a
person and see only the pain they can bring me and thus I never truly
speak to them or see them and never want them for anything more then
friendship. Is there some mark on me that says this woman is not ready,
stay away, this woman won’t work let you in; this woman is only right
for people she doesn't want.
Is there something wrong with me that
I can't seem to allow myself to open up to the idea of love and that on
the occasions where others approached me I instinctively run for cover
hiding in my shell or putting up large jagged defensive walls around me
to keep them away...
why is it that for the first time in my life
I’ve met someone who makes me want to keep my walls down someone who
makes me think feel and want something I’ve never really wanted or
thought I needed before.
I don’t know but I don’t want to be that
girl any more. I want to be the kind of girl who allows her self to
have feelings she can't control, the kind of girl whose scared shitless
of a rejection she didn't even know existed a week ago I want to become
a girl who fears a loss of something that hasn't even started yet.
And
I feel like maybe just maybe I’ve started to become that girl who in
the face of something new, something uncomfortable something I never
truly thought I wanted or needed that instead of running or hiding
stand up and looks it in the eye and says
“I think I’m ready for this.”
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| "first you need to check the cork, then smell it..... then you pour a little bit." dad,
"the girl is stressed out and frustrated she wants a glass of wine to calm her nerves not a lesson on how to pour and drink wine. if i were her i'd of smashed that glass on your head by now, pour her a glass and let her be."
My mother to my father this evening as i stood laughing unable to stop the tears from apearing in my eyes.
I love you mommy!!
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| what i've done while i should be sleeping
hung up 3 weeks worth of clothing
organized my desk
packed my gym bag
found my phone charger
charged my cellphone
organized my cd's
reorganized my movies
cleaned my room
figured out the exact score i need on my LSAT's =165-170
read 3 chapters of harry potter book 5
watched 2 made for tv movies, (both sucked)
reorganized my closet
started to reorganized my clips
balanced my check book,
figured out how much debt i'm still in two more paychecks and i'm free and clear btw
contimplated dusting my room, decided against it.
Tried to sleep 3 times and by 3:07 decided it was a losing fight.
TBC
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| I've been stuck in my own head for a while now. Too confused to even write, and that scared me, spending two months not writing made me realize how much it means to me and how much I need it in my life.
Life's been up in the air lately but i think i may be heading back to my path soon, i took the month off from my life to figure out a few things and what i realized is that i need to start going after my dreams because they aren't going to come after me any time soon.
-gotta sleep now-
later readers
=V
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